Wednesday, August 02, 2006
By John McMullen
The Philadelphia Eagles remind me of K-Fed.
For those of you not well versed in the realm that is pop-culture, K-Fed is short for Kevin Federline -- aka Mr. Britney Spears.
Despite designs on being the next Eminem and snaring what was the hottest female on the planet, people really haven’t warmed up to this moron’s undeserved sense of accomplishment.
That said, as a man, I have to respect K-Fed, who may be the greatest overachiever since Ron Jeremy was lighting up the porn world during the ’70s and ’80s. I mean women who look like Britney rarely have the time of day for a dude who doesn’t own a pot to piss in.
Of course, I also understand some men are ticked off at poor ole K-Fed since Spears now looks like a very worn stripper manning the afternoon shift at ‘Les Gals'. You know the type -- the kind you look at and say, “I bet she was really hot a few years ago."
But, turning Spears from an uber-hot sex vixen into a dumpy Mom was the smart move for K-Fed. He certainly isn’t going to be able to support himself so you have to think long-term.
With that in mind, it’s safe to say Federline has some redeeming qualities. He realizes he won the lottery and has manipulated the situation to the best of his abilities.
So why is Mr. Spears so reviled?
According to numerous entertainment reporters, Federline makes George Clooney look self-deprecating.
In short, he’s so smug....nobody likes him.
Like K-Fed, the Philadelphia Eagles have redeeming qualities.
They have given you a lot on the field. Four straight NFC Championship Game appearances, even without a Super Bowl win, is a resume any one should be proud of. In fact, it should have given the Eagles a decade of goodwill to play with.
And...it would have...if the team wasn’t so damn smug.
We can all see the Birds need receivers, a big back and some competence at outside linebacker. Heck, if they owned up to that fact, few would have a problem waiting for the team to rebuild.
But, the arrogance of this team is so astounding that it enables the omnipotent sports giant to contradict things the rest of us can see with our own eyes.
Most realize counting on Hank Baskett, Bruce Perry, Ryan Moats, Chris Gocong and other assorted refuse isn’t the answer.
But, we have no right to question “The Gold Standard.”
Well let me be the first to pull no punches -- The Philadelphia Eagles organization is unpleasant and offensive.
From the owner all the way down to the Nazis that man the team’s media relations department, their undeserved sense of superiority sickens me.
Just like K-Fed.
-You can reach John McMullen at email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org